This is a letter that I am writing to my late mother. It may sound silly, but that’s what I want to do this year as this is the 10th year since my mum passed away. I like to remind myself again as I write on all the good memories that she left behind for me. Even the unpleasant one, it happened that way for my own good. Often, we do not know how much a person mean to us until we lose them. So, I hope that as you read this post, it will spur you to treasure all your loves one who is alive now.
Time flies and without much notice, I suddenly realized that by Nov 2019, it would he 10th Year since you passed away. This is a letter that will never be delivered to you, but I still want to write this letter to remind myself of all the good things that you had given me. It is also a gentle reminder to everyone reading this now to treasure their love ones when they are still around.
When I was little, I would never forget the way you raised me up. Of course, there was this corporate punishment and canning on my butt when I was naughty that I would never forget. However, being a parent now, I know now that for every stroke that landed on my butt, it actually hurt you more than it hurt me.
You disciplined me because you loved me. It would be better that I got disciplined harshly when I was little than for you to visit me in prison cell when I grew up if all my faults were not corrected.
During meal time, when fish was served, you always gave the best part to me and ate all those areas that was not as tasty. In fact, those parts of the fish you ate tasted really horrible to me. You gave the excuses that you simply loved the taste of those parts of the fish that I would never want to try. I naively believed you. But today I know, that was how you demonstrated your love to me. You would only want me to eat the best part of the fish and silently swallowed whatever that was left, which certainly did not taste good.
Where clothing was concern, you would buy the best clothes that we could afford, but hardly did I see you buying as many for yourself. Why? I know, that simply is what we called as unconditional and sacrificial love you have for me. With the limited money we had, you would always ensure that we got to look good before your personal needs.
I remembered there was a time when we had a bad quarrel and we stopped talking to each other for days. But you never lost sight of my well-being. On one particular day when I was returning from school and alighted at the bus stop, it was raining heavily. You probably saw me from the window, even though our house back then was approximately 500 m from the bus stop. You took the trouble to drive out just to pick me up from the bus stop. I would never forget that moment. You may look tough on the outside, but your outward actions gave yourself away that you still loved me in spite of all our differences in opinion over religion.
The family is no longer the same after your demise. You had left a vacuum that no one in the family can fill. I would not go into the details, but home is no longer a home without you. In the family when you were still with us, you were like the captain of the ship. With you around, everything was under control. We have a direction and everyone stayed close to each other. Although we often lament at your demanding and hard-handed way of managing the family, but as I looked back now, you had done what you could to keep the family as one. In fact, you had executed your role excellently well.
Mum, if I have to write out all the good things that you had done for me, it will probably take several volumes of books to covered all. Now that you are gone, I can only say with regrets that I wish I had spent more time with you more especially the period before you died of cancer. I am sorry that I had broken your heats often with my ignorance and rebellions. If I have a chance to re-live my life again, I would certainly want to be good to you in every way that I could.
There is nothing that I can do to bring you back. I only wish that when I see you in heaven one day, I would have the opportunity to thank you for everything that you had given me. Till then, you will always have a special place in heart forever.
Your precious son, the son whom you loved
Gentle Reminder to Everyone Who Has a Living Mum
If your mum is still alive, you still have an opportunity to love and treasure her. I would trade anything with you if that can bring my mother back to life for me to express my love to her. I would just want to list down a few items here which you can start practicing them. it’s great if that’s what you are already practicing. Don’t regret only when your dear mum is no longer around, the time is now.
- Spend quality time with your mum
- Listen to her and talk to her often
- Dine with her and provide her with good nutritious meals
- Celebrate her birthday, not her age
- Surprise her occasionally with gifts
- Bring her out to places that she would love to visit
- Buy her clothing to dress well
- If your mum is old, make sure the home is fitted with facilities that is friendly to the aged.
If there is only one thing that you can do out of the list of items above, I would say, just try to spend time with her. Nothing is more important than giving her your precious undivided attention.
I hope this article blesses you, and I wish all mothers in the world to be joyful and in good health.