Complaint seems to be a norm or is slowly becoming the first nature of humanity. On the contrary, people are pretty stingy in giving praises and compliments even though it is something that is not difficult to do. Why is this so? I guess it has very much to do with the state of the world that we are in now.
In our society today, there are more negativity than positivity. When something happened, the first thing that comes to our minds is, what went wrong instead of what went well. For example, if you are summoned to your company director’s office, what comes to your mind? Would you be expecting good news or bad news when you see your director? I bet most people will start to worry and think, did I do anything wrong?
In this article, I am going to talk on why we should stop complaining and start to give praises and compliments.
Reason Why People Complaint
They Are Disappointed.
Disappointment in life is inevitable. But what is devastating is when you are let down by people whom you trusted or loved. Under such circumstances, it’s not unusual that people start to complaint.
When you are unhappy with what you have, even when you are already better than off than many people in the society, the tendency to complaint is high. Such people are always wanting for more, but nothing will ever satisfy them because nothing in this world is able to satisfy the inner man, only God does.
This is quite similar to discontentment. But jealousy is more than that. People who are jealous are those who never attempt to improve himself so that he can be as good as the person whom he envies. Instead, he resorts to complaining and ask silly questions on why others are better than him.
Not letting Go of Past Hurts
This is the most common reason for people to complaint. Such person is not willing to let go of past hurts and keep rehearsing in the mind on how people had wronged them. It’s very silly because unforgiveness is going to lead to many other troubles in life including health and emotional sanity. You cannot move on to a new chapter if you keep reading the last chapter of your life.
Fearful and Insecure
A person who is fearful and insecure probably have also lost hopes and faith to believe that anything but good will happen to them. That’s why they would complaint on almost anything. Their fear has crippled their ability to see the good things if that ever happen to them. They are unable to see good when it comes.
Often the problem does not stop at complaining. Fearful and insecure people sub-consciously try to cover up their insecurity by abusing other people. Have you seen people who are abusive? Examine them closely, underneath their verbal or physical abuse lies a layer of fear and insecurity.
Example of bondages includes drug abuses, alcoholism, smoking addition etc. All these are unhealthy habits that would fuel the tendency to complaint. Take a close look at people with such bondages, I am sure you will find most of them having a complaining spirit in them.
People who blame others whenever things go wrong only to show that they are immature and not willing to take responsibility. When you blame others for what you are going through, you are denying responsibility.
Why You Should Stop Complaining
You are Wasting Your Time
Life is short, every time when you complaint, you are wasting several minutes of your time because complaint won’t achieve anything. It does nothing to fix your problems!
Complaining Disabled Your Ability to See the Positive
When you complaint, you shut yourself from seeing anything that is good. It’s like you are blind and when good things happen before your eyes, you will still missed it. Reason that when complaining, your brain is too pre-occupied with the negativity and will not be able to see anything that is positive.
Complaining Affects Your Brain and Health
Each time when you complaint, you are causing harm to your brain. Instead you are adding more and more negativity to your already cluttered and troubled mind. Dr. Caroline Leaf in her book “Who Switched Off My Brain?” said that we’re living in an epidemic of toxic emotions. Her research shows that as much as 87% to 95% of mental and physical illnesses are a direct result of toxic thinking-proof that our thoughts affect us physically and emotionally.
Nobody Likes to Be Around a Complainer
Do you like to spend time with anyone who constantly complaint that life sucks and the world owe them a living? If you don’t like, then don’t be that type of person.
It Prevents You from Moving Forward
A complainer will lose sight of the big picture because he is immersed in the sea of self-pity. Hence it paralyzed him from achieving excellence to move forward to a better future.
Complaining Causes Anger
When a person complaint non-stop and nothing seems to improve, it translates into anger. And anger would result in a raised blood pressure and causes other health related problems related to anger especially the heart. Heart attack is also often closely associated to extreme anger.
Complaining Create Stress
Stress is a health killer. When your complaints evolved into stress, watch out! Stress has been identified to be a cause to many health-related problems including depression and other mental illness.
Why You Should Start Giving Compliments
Giving praise and compliments to others is the opposite of complaining. And the benefits that it brings are awesome. That’s why I am ending my post today on why you should start to give praises and compliments to others.
It Helps You to See the Good Things About Others
You can’t praise and give compliments unless you are able to see and observe good things about other people. Once you are able to train your mind to spot what other people have done well instead of picking their mistakes, you are doing yourself a favour. Your mind has become healthier because it is always filled with positivity.
It Encourages and Motivates
You will never know, a simple word of encouragement such as “keep up the good job”, “well done”, “you are awesome” etc may be exactly what another person needed to hear. It encourages that person and give him a boost to strive for excellence. You can make someone’s day by sharing your positivity in the form of a genuine compliment.
Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.
It Makes You Feel Good
It’s more blessed to give than to receive. Hence as you give your praises and compliments to others, you are blessed too. You will feel good and happy internally when you see how your words can help another person.
It Makes You Likable
Compliments make other people feel good and make others want to be around you. This is quite the opposite of the complainer which most people would want to avoid. When you praise others has another powerful benefit. By appreciating others, you become a magnet for their reciprocated love.
Sincere Compliments Build Trust
When you give your sincere compliments to your peers and friends, it builds trust and bonds between you and them. When you give compliments on the little things in other people’s life, it sends them a positive signal that they are people of importance to you. Sometimes, the most effective compliments are the ones that focus on the details in people’s lives.
Last but not least, Karma. What comes around goes around. When you are always giving sincere praises and compliments to others, it will go around and return to you. So, give compliments generously and receive them graciously!
Do you want to be a complainer or be someone who is always generous with giving compliments? You decide! It’s absolutely within your control.
Seeing a glass as half filled or half empty is a personal choice. You can certainly train yourself to learn to spot that which is good in life always.
So, start to give praise and compliments to others today!
Read up my other post in The Secret to Happiness in Life here. I believe it will bless you.